quinta-feira, 16 de julho de 2015

BCN

Antes de irme a Barcelona, yo pensaba que me iba a perder mucho, pero la verdade es que no me he perdido nunca!

Cuando he salido de Sevilla sobre las 6 de la mañana, ni me di cuenta que ni nervios tenia en mi vientre, ni sé como no he sentido ya que soy una persona muy nerviosa y muy anciosa… Pero he dormido muy bien antes de irme a Barcelona y me he pasado genial!
He llegado por las 8 de la mañana y cuando he salído de lo avión fui directo para mi hostel (bien he comprado el bonobus o la tarjeta de lo metro, como quierais llamar). Lo metro es muy grande y con varias salidas y entradas… no estoy acustumbrado a estas cosas, pero me he encuentrado sempre las salidas correctas. Pensaba que me iba a confundir, pero era muy fácil. Lo metro me parece mucho con lo de Lisboa.
He llegado cerca de la calle ''Carrer de Lafont'' (creo que tan pronto no me voy a olvidar de la calle) pero no la encuentraba pues habia salido en una parada antes (lo que ha pasado es que me fui a una tabaqueria y he preguntado donde era,,, la chica me ha dicho para irme en una direccion y lo Hostel era en la otra). Como no encuentraba (no que estuviese perdido, pero no me apetecia usar mi GPS movile) he preguntado a una señora que estaba paseando el perro, Ella fue tan amable que me ha llevado casi hacia la puerta de lo hostel. Ahí me he asustado pues me he engañado en la fecha y solo habia una habitacion disponible, pero no ha pasado nada.
Lo primero que he visto no fue La Sagrada Família. La verdade lo que he visto primer fue lo que tenía para ultimo en mi lista, No me creí que el google maps me ha enseñado los sitios lejos unos de los otros, cuando eran muy cerca (o por el menos parecian).
He llegado a la Plaza de Catalunya y he caminado hasta arriba, y he pasado por  La Pedrera y La casa Batló. Me ha encantado tanto que he regresado otra vez en el último dia. 
No entré en ambas ni en casi ningun sitio, pues no tengo dinero,y todo que quieria por ahora era conocer la ciudad.
Me encuentrado a comer en el KFC (soy loco por KFC, y lo peor es que no había KFC en Sevilla... ). Claro que he comido que ni un loco... pero traquilo.
Después he paseado por la rambla y caminado por la catedral, cerca de la playa.
He visto los catalanes a hablar, y a xistear (me encanta verlos locos )y haciendo bromas de todo. Soy muy bueno ahora escuchando y entender lo que los españoles dicen.. Mi Castellano no es lo mejor, pero seguro intento dar mi mejor.
Por la primer vez he hablado con la chica de la recepcion en español, y no en inglés. Me sentí muy confortable hablandole y contestandole en mi Portuñol andaluz. 
Lo primer dia me he acostado muy temprano, aunque lo segundo dia tambien no me he acostado muy tarde. Es que como fui solo a Barcelona, no tenía ganas de salir por la noche... Que haría un chico en la rambla bebendo unas cervezas, solo? Seguro que ligaría pero no soy mucho de ligar. Talvez no lo sea porque me sinto feo as veces, pero yo sé que soy una persona muy lista y bonita... a mi manera!
Lo segundo dia fui a La Sagrada Familia (es lo punto talvez más conocido de Barcelona), pero para ser honesto, no me ha llamado tanto cuanto pensaba.. Talvez Porque es muy conocido. Pero claro que me he puesto de boca abierta cuando he llegado cerca y comprobando que siguen restaurando (y creo que hacia que me muera , iran estando restaurando ...).
Después he cogido el metro y me fui a lo Park Güell que es formidable! He pagado 8 euros para irme dentro, y dejenme os contar que es increible! Si me vuelva allá quiero irme al Park Güell con mi pareja (cuando lo tenga). Si os visitais, iran gustar mucho, para no decir que enseña una mirada de la ciudad increible!
Lo tercer día fue dedicado a visitar todo lo que he pasado muy rapido. Tambien he visitado un Museu de la Marijuana (no soy drogado o consumidor, pero me gusta saber de la historia y como lo museu solo hay en Barcelona y Amesterdam, y tenia un regalo gratis por mi hostel tener un postal de alla, he decidido visitar)
La verdad es que he visto que el Cañamo y la marijuana no son muy difrentes, y es usada en muchos fines terapeuticos y medicinales...
No pude irme bañarme en el mediterranico, ni pude visitar más sitios pues el tiempo era poco, pero de los 3 dias que he pasado allá, me he aprovechado un monton! 
La gente es muy amable, y he estado sonriendo todo el rato! Me han preguntado como podria viajar solo. Yo dije que me da igual, ahora soy joven y estoy solo, así veo la ciudad a mi manera, un dia que tenga una pareja me iré acompañado. Para no decir que mis amigos no tenia dinero, asi que no veniran. 
Seguro que en el futuro tendré oportunidad de viajar acompanado.
Si has visitado Barcelona, por favor digan lo que más os ha gustado y lo que no han gustado.
No me puedo quejar de Barcelona.. Talvez solo sobre el calor muy muy humedo que nunca he visto algo así. Estuve siempre mojado de la humedad (y no solo de mi sudor jejejeje).
Hasta un proximo post!









terça-feira, 14 de julho de 2015

El Libro De La Magica

As veces veo que simplesmente la vida es una montaña-rusa, llena de bajos y altos.
Hace 2 meses, cuando yo seguia en Sevilla, yo buscaba por amor en todas las calles que había en la ciudad.
La verdad es que yo soy una persona que tiene mucho amor para dar, y pienso demasiado en eso... eso es mi malo.
Pero digo que la vida es mala conmigo? Solo me engaño...
La vida me hace sorpresas todos los dias, y yo no quiero verlo.
La verdad es que del nada me ha aparecido una persona que se volvió loca para conmigo, y si yo quisese podria tener algo muy bonito... Pero todavia yo no quise.
Me acuerdo las tardes que he pasado a su lado, donde me contaba historias sobre sus victorias, sobre su familia, sobre sus sentimentos y sobre las batallas que sigue quierendo realizar.
Cada segundo que he pasado a su lado no lo he aprovechado como yo quieria, porque siguia pensando en lo otro... Pero que ''coño'' me pasa (como dicen los españoles jaja). No sinto que fui honesto para conmigo, pero le dije desde el principio que mi corazon ya estaba lleno, y mismo así no se importaba con eso... Talvez yo estaba tan preocupado en hacerle daño, o molestar, que no he visto la oportunidad de me alegrar más un poco en los ultimos dias en Sevilla.
Me ha invitado para muchos paseos, y fui a algunos, pero deberia tener ído a más... Pero no fui...Talvez porque me sentia agobiado de mi monotonia que he empezado sin me dar cuenta...
En el ultimo día me ha regalado su libro favorito, y le he prometido de lerlo todo y contarle mis partes favoritas.. Pero no lo he leído aun, y no creo que lo haré estos dias... Yo quiero coger el libro y lerlo todo cuando eche de menos sus abrazos... Pero será que no deberia tener aprovechado eso? No deberia preocuparme menos? Ya ha pasado.. No puedo cambiar el pasado, y no lo cambiaria.
Si algun dia lo veo de nuevo (quizá mas temprano que piense) lo diré todo esto y mucho más!

segunda-feira, 13 de julho de 2015

Love is a loosing game

I always said I think too much... My nature is to think so much. Although thinking is a pain. You shouldnt think so much, but if you are someone like me, you will find yourself thinking about everything and anything. So why do I think so much when I dont wanna think at all? I dont know... I just know I find myself crying over and over again. People say you can cry if you are hurt, happy... I am not either those and I keep crying. Not everyday but I find myself crying while listening to songs and I realize that before I used to say those lyrics or those situations do not happen to me or never  happened.. I find myself realising all I did say to myself was lies, lies and more lies... I am not weak saying I cry, If I cry is because I feel, and feeling is my assuranse I am still alive and not stone hearted. I dont know why I do feel like this when I have no excuse to cry. I am healthy, I have friends, I have a wonderful life, I am not poor, I am not rich, I am not alone, I am not with everybody... I see people in worst conditions, with every reason to cry and yet they are stronger than ever. I wont say I am weak, I will say I cry because I must be too sensitive... I simply love you. I find myself anscious to read you, I wont sleep if I know I have a chance to be with you. I will leave everything just to be with you, I am always thinking new ways to make you happy, I feel happy looking for stuff to make you smile.. I loose my hunger when I read something you say, I can feel like a cloud of butterflies in my belly, I can feel after like they get up to my throat wanting to leave, I can feel my heart beating so damn fast, my blood bumping, my chest freezing and my hands shaking just with a word of yours, and yet I believe if I spent more time with you I could even get many morr sensations. I dont lie when I say I never felt something like this. When I had loved before, all the sensations were spetacular, I was very happy and I will never forget what I lived before. I was always looking for love because I wanted to experience those things again, and now I felt just in some hours more than in 3 years of dating. I never wanted so much to listen any word from someone like I wanted to listen from you. Some people might never understand this, I dont even understand as well, but I feel happy for feeling it. However, why should I feel this way when I know you will not feel the same? The time passes by and everything stays the same. There is no evolution... All I see is myself getting jealous everyday for everything you do. I was like this before, but I was controled by. I was asured everyday I was the most important thing for him, every single day. I always felt jealous, but I could see on the eyes that It wouldnt matter because in the end of the day, I was the first and the only one that matters in the line. But now I see the line bigger and bigger, and I have no hand on me, saying I am the first in line, I am the one that matters... I feel just like another one in the crowd, not competing because it seems there is no fight to fight for. Every single day, I feel that It was never a battle for love, and that I might have been the only one that thought or thinks much about it. Everyome is diffrent on showing their feelings, but everyome is the same when they look someome fading away, and I realised you were always fading away, and never to stay. Not for choice, but for will... Distance is a big shit, but worst is the giving up upoun it. I always had a distance in my life, it feels like everytime I look for something, there is a distance. But they taught me that if there is will, distance are just miles that keep someone apart. I remember one of my happiest times of my life, I had distance but it wouldnt matter because I was special, I was important, I was worth fighting for. Now I realise I might not be that for you at least, or maybe I think life is still a fairytale and I am slowly waking up about it. I am not complaining, but if I was important I wouldnt be hours but I would be a day. I wouldnt be left for last, and knowing that you wouldnt catch me so soon, I should have been a priority. I am happy that I was hours, better than minutes. I cant ask the same I would do, or should I? The much I think, the worst I feel because all the pieces get together, and nothing from you comes in my way stopping it. There are  lighty eyes in everything, all I think that are for me, because I am special, are the same as for everyone. I feel that I share many things, but guess again, you prove me wrong. When I find your eyes I find the same eyes I asked for love on the same way for anyone to see. I wont say I am a saint, I did many things wrong, but I always asked for your forgiveness because loosing you was worst than get shot. But guess again, maybe I wouldnt need to do it, because small things are worst than big things. Now I wonder, what's happening? It is just bullshit about the "boring" thing. I know, you know , we all know it. You are fuckin' around all the time, and dont come with the "will" crap. I am done playing games... I remember some people, yes some people, saying "Oh, you want be committed now". Again It is just bullshit. My age people are engaged, married, With children, so, I wont allow any one to tell me that. And even if that was true, it doesmt mean I dont feel or care... You might wondering why I didnt say " I love you"... I am starting to believe that it was faith that made me not saying so, so that I wouldnt cry even more when I am giving myself to you. You know I want you, you know you were my everything... I never felt more protected like I did when I was laying on your side, and now is it just a memory? Is it just another card for my deck of people that dump me indirectly? I was so self confident, I had who I ever wanted, and now that I want to share my true love I get fooled by life and by this? I cry, because everytime I cry, my silly heart expell a bit of love for you, so my heart wont be afool anymore. l hope that you catch me because I am falling, but again, I am just ricardo, someone, a foreigner, a silly, a fool.. You put your arms around me and I felt home, but I cannot find it anymore because you think you can fly. And I see youraelf flying everytime ai look for you. I tried my best to show, to give myself to you, and I cannot find you again. I cry because I thought I had just found a path on the mountains, where I thought I was lost. I just realiased I am delusional, and every step I made was just a mirage. I never had you, I nevwr hold you... When did I start to be such a hypocrate? It is all my fault that I keep crying, because It was my will to find a journey in the mountain.. Now I realise I should have never wanted this.. I dont regreat, I will never forget this and my life was sweet as cinammon. But it is time for me to face reality, to let you go, even knowing I never had you. I cry because I am a fool in love, I cry because every tear will shed my feelings in the earth... I dont need any support, I dont need a hug, I just needed that you were just like me. But again, I cannot ask for anything. I cannot ask you to love me, I cannot ask you to want me, I cannot ask you anything. I hope at least, that you realise you will NEVER find someone like me. You wont find so easily someone that will probably put aside his life for you. I will make sure I will keep my distance, I say I love you and I feel you are not listenning. Why am I crying when I know you have not even shed a tear for me. I kept waiting for you to take me, you kept waiting but not for me. I wilk make sure I will leave your path and let you to be happy! How long did I have to wair to call this love when nothing changes... I was a party boy, I didnt feel the love, I didnt feel nothing, and now that I feel every heaet beating i realise I juat cry myself to sleep, I am ashamed, I am a low hanging fruit... I know things will change, But I wanna let you know I am letting your way clean, You can go be happy with whom you wish you want. I am fine. I will keep crying till there wil not be any tear left and my love will die slowly this way. I will be laughing about this later and realise this is juast a big lesson that life gave me, or the bigge mistake I ever done (In writting this). I will cry myself untill there is notning else to cry for. I hope now you can feel free to leave anywhere you want and be with who ever you want!